hit me baby one more time

ARGHHHHH!!!!!

*stamps feet* *pulls hair* *spin around in circles*

I DUN WANNA DO HOMEWORK!
I DUN WANNA GO PRACTICE!
I DUN WANNA WORK OUT!
I DUN WANNA DO ASSIGNMENTS!
I DUN WANNA WRITE THESIS!
I DUN WANNA GO TO CLASS!
I DUN WANNA WORK!
I DUN WANT I DUN WANT I DUN WANT!!!!
I NEED A HOLIDAY!!!!! I WANNA EAT LIKE A PIG N SLEEP ALL DAY AND WAIT FOR MONEY TO FALL FROM THE SKY!!!! I WANNA PRAY THAT I WIN THE LOTTERY SO I CAN RETIRE EARLY!!!

I'm now at the point of attempting to run away from reality. This is bad.

okay ranting's over, time to get back to work.

*chants*

I promise i will keep in shape n do the best of my responsibilities.

I promise i will keep in shape n do the best of my responsibilities.

I promise i will keep in shape n do the best of my responsibilities.

I promise i will keep in shape n do the best of my responsibilities.

I promise i will keep in shape n do the best of my responsibilities.

I promise i will keep in shape n do the best of my responsibilities.....

>T___T<

a very bad joke

Trust isn't something easy to get. Ask a person who've been stabbed at the back by someone they thought were their closest friend. Once it's ripped apart, mending it might just be an impossible task. The bond is imperfect, with cuts and leakages, tainted with insecurities.

Once it's gone, it's gone.
U can never really trust anybody nowadays. Not for me.
Call me bitter or watever u want, (and that's if i give two flying fucks about) I'm not leaving my heart out in the open to let anybody ripped it apart, spit it on the floor and stamp on it again.
And i will not give more than what i feel is enough for anybody.

and if u cross the border, i won't ignore, i WILL bite back, and i make sure u hurt..... real bad.

-

I'm not sure if you would read this, not even sure if u knew the existense of this blog. But i guess it's about time i back-off now. Don't worry, there's no obligations neither was there any expectations from u. It's just that letting u know how i feel still doesn't not get me wat i want.

I need a resolution, i need to know where to go from here, i need to know if we think the same.
But i still do not know. It's unfair to me that i'm left with open ended answers with no solutions.

I have too much in my hands to handle now that it's driving me crazy. I can't stop thinking, i wish i could but i can't.
What u say or think mattered a lot to me, which becomes a burden when it's only me here feeling this way.

I'm an idiot, i know.
but for now, that's about it, i'm done.

happy 51st birthday Malaysia!

51 years ago, it was such an important day because the nation has finally declared independence, free from the clutches of foreign authorities. However, the importance of the meaning Merdeka, has somehow lost its significance to the nation, it became merely "another public holiday" to most younger generation.
Don't you agree?

Let's evaluate what the the country means to us, what could've been better. That we could all contribute just by changing our mindsets and standpoint, thus changing our attitude towards the country. We maybe nobody alone, but as a nation, particularly the younger generation, we are something.

So please vote k?

that historical moment

"hey, going anywhere to celebrate Merdeka?"
"yeah i have a date."
"OH REALLY, how nice! Who's Mr.Lucky?"
"Yeah, a date with the idiot box watching a sweaty crowd of Malaysians watching fireworks on national TV. Then another date with my pillow later at night cuz tomorrow still have class."
-________-"""

Yes, i have no life.

Happy Independence Day, Malaysia.

one hand in my pocket

Reborn and shivering,
spat out on new terrain,

unsure, unconvincing,
this faint and shaky hour.

Day one, day one,
Starts all over again,

Step one, step one,

I'm barely making sense

From now i'm faking it, till i'm pseudo-making it,

From scratch begins, again, but,

This time I as I,

Not as We.

"Not As We" -Alanis Morissette-

Fighting a difficult and almost impossible battle, from time to time, wears me out a little bit.

I'm not a saint, i'm not immortal, and i'm only human. Thus, it's only all too normal that i might just bruise and bleed a little.

They say time heals, i can never agree more. Suddenly, things that once seemed so important don't seem to have that weightage anymore. Memories starts to fade a little, and the wound isn't bleeding anymore. Each day seem to be a better day, that i learn something about myself to love.

I can't seem to fathom a person's motives maybe for some of the things people do. But hey, it doesn't matter. I guess they weren't sure of themselves either. Looking back, i think the only thing i could do now, is to forgive myself. Forgive my own mistakes, and know that it's ok, that i'm gonna be fine.

Life still goes on, but with all those unnecessary baggage off the shoulders, the long rocky road isn't so long and doesn't feel as bumpy now. I'm thankful. And i pray to always able to find inner peace and understanding for all the things i do in life. Life is downright unfair, is tough, can sometimes be a real bitch, but life is hell lotsa fun!

I've laid down all my cards, i've nothing to hide, and nothing to lose. I'm going all out cuz there's just so much to gain. If humans were to appreciate and respect the value of honesty, life would have less misery.

I know i'm on the right track now. And thank u, i love u guys for making it possible.

love u all <3

good times goes by fast

Yenn and Lynn, take care ok? It's only been a short short holiday together but it's been damn fulfilling. Outings, practices, competing(woots!), sleepovers, stupid yet ridiculously funny happenings(yes, u know what i mean), we had em' all compacted in one week!!! that's bloody amazing rite?

I hope we have more n more of these to come, and i hope u guys be able to come home soon. I'll be keeping my bestest wishes that u all will have the bestest of bestest time ever in the States.

I can't control how fast time can pass while u two are away, so i'll just save all the fun stuff til u all get back here to join us again. (or maybe me n cw come over instead :D)
All in all, take care n good luck. Someone will be watching over u two :)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it gets more daunting each day when u have to be in many places at one time.
it feels as if people expects the best out of u each n every single time.
It's tiring. and sometimes u just feel like u don't care anymore.
But nevertheless, thinking of something u said is what really gets me by.

"I never allow myself to feel reluctant, cuz it will get to me n things will never get done"

I need to see u soon.
Yes, time to get on up again!!
Class starts tomorrow :(

Shoo!

hey you,yes you, the one with the dick as a brain.
i'm sorry u had too much emotional baggage u can't handle yourself normally, thus the disgusting behavior by treating women like dirt/slave/crap/anything that can serve ur pleasure yet is worthless.
And it's a pity that u never really utilise what ur parents or ur former educators(dunno if u went to school) taught u, cuz i think u talk trash with your freaking asshole. Oops, i forgot, U ARE A WALKING ASSHOLE. Oh well, pls respect your female counterpart. Talk like u've received education in your life or many will regard u as a caveman n take u away to do further experimentations. Dun be an earsore, and go do something with yourself if u wanna have a life.

On another note, i'm sorry, u can't have me and u will never have me because u cannot afford me. i repeat, CANNOT AFFORD.
I'm the best thing ever that u cannot have. And i'm not the least bit interested in what u can offer.

Go away ok? a man SHOULD have some dignity.

til then