Almost paradise

Gonna be in GuangZhou, China, for a Dance Festival with Kwang Tung Dance Troupe.

Time away from familiar grounds and comfort zone might provoke new insights and self discovery, i hope.

Will be back soon!! *excitedly packing dancing shoes* :D

til then

i have been here many times before...

When you were younger, you hoped to be someone great when u grow up.
You wanna be a star, you wanna change lives, you wanna build dreams...

Then as time passes along, you are faced with expectations, faults, and the harsh realities in life.
Then you realised that sometimes you can't be everything u want.
And sometimes everything you want is not exactly everything u NEED.
Then it comes to a realisation that everybody has only 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year.

You hoped that one day everything will fall into place, but somehow it never happens.
Because true enough, u never have enough time to do EVERYTHING u WANT.
You can do everything u want, just not great at it. "Jack of all trades, Master of NONE"
However you CAN be great, by choosing what you NEED. and put the rest to secondary.

But somehow u just grew so attached to the things that you build yourself to be and you can't get out of it.

Things that have intertwined in your life, that can be so potentially good in different ways, but come together and kill you from the pressure of it.

Things that require your attention like a newborn baby who cries to his mother to his every whim, and makes u feel guilty when you attend to it, but deep down inside u know there's no can do about it... because u have only 24 hours a day.

Things that will break your heart and rip you apart if you choose one over the other. Vice versa. Because u hold them both dear to your heart just like the back of your hands.

Things that u know will kill you if you held them tightly and refuse to choose. Things that make u stagnant, not GREAT, but just okay enough to past the day, just mediocre... Things u know that if u choose one, you will be extraordinary in it.

And in the midst of dealing with these things, when overprivilledged ppl come complaining how their lives are miserable, u wanna throw it back to their face and say, FUCK OFF! YOU WANNA BE ME FOR A DAY? I DON'T FUCKING CARE, IF U HAVE SO MUCH MISERY LIVING THE CHARMED LIFE, GO JUMP OFF THE CLIFF. LIFE'S A BITCH, DEAL WITH IT!

Okay, am done ranting. If u think i'm talking about you, no... jangan perasan.
k thanx bye.

country road, take me home

It's been an emotionally taxing weekend.
I realised about the importance of doing things that kept me really busy but sane, things i haven't been able to do for a long time.
I missed cheerleading.
I missed doing stunts, tensing n smiling like a cheerleader.
I missed everybody in the team. Even those that i'm not particularly close, i still miss them all.
I missed hanging out late at McDs talking about stupid things n laugh like idiots.
I missed Kwang Tung Dance training. I miss everybody in KT, especially Sam's laughter.
I missed being scolded for petty things like not pointing my toes.
I missed doing difficult techniques n sweating my heart out.
I missed Mr.Chong's gymnastics classes.
I missed having pork porridge with Mama Bev.
I missed having girlie nite outs with my girlfriends.
I missed going home having dinner with my family, i miss hugging Spongebob to sleep.
I miss everything i once had before this, and it is still waiting for me but i can't go back until my work is over.
I miss my life, i want it back.
It doesn't even matter if it hurts, or if i've exhausted every ounce of my strengths. It doesn't matter cuz it's my life.
It will all be over soon, i hope.

a jumble of thoughts

I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms to the incorigible burden. It didn't matter, as i can see light at the end of the tunnel, that's what kept me going. It didn't matter even when unreasonable sacrifices has to be done. In the midst of tears, blood , sweat and pain, i've found a family outside from the ones i was biologically related to. In the midst of all the insane yet mundane routine, i've found what i want. I refused to clarify, i refused to be clear on things i know there's no definite answer. In fact, i don't need an answer, i need an escape. Happiness needs no justification, no definition... it is a mysterious secret place where it only belongs to me and no one else, and clarifying it takes the magic away from happiness. Call me delusional, i'd say i'm already beyond that.

But i'm happy. It doesn't matter what the future brings....
What matters is right here, right now.

Project Rail/ Heroes Premiere/ Prom the Musical

Updates!

hmm... sorry i've been away for far too long.. there has been a few projects i've been involved with.

1st and foremost, i was involved in the dance dept's 1st batch graduation final year project. it is like a showcase of choreography by three graduating seniors of mine. Kak nurul, my senior *love u lots* initially asked me to help her out by being one of her dancers in her work titled "Rail". Not knowing what to expect,I agreed.

The theme of her choreograhy is about relationships and making choices in the transitions of emotions between human relations. To the choreographer, Rail, as in the railway train track is analogous to human relationships. The people that we've encountered in our lives could accompany us by giving advices and walking hand in hand with us, regardless whom they may be, friend, sibling, lovers, foe, acquaintance of any kind, but the only person who can make decision to how we wanna lead our lives is ourselves. And that the railway track is always parallel, close side by side but never intersecting.

Rail also depicts the emotional transitions of relationship through the eyes of a woman.

I feel deeply for this choreography as it hits close to home. The emotional buildup heighthens and has very abrupt changes which one can relate closely to. I thank kak nurul for giving me the opportunity to be a part of this amazing experience, i also thank kak munie and abang sya (dancers) for being such a wonderful team together.

there are other 2 pieces by my other two graduating seniors- "Semalu" by Saliha Likun and "Panji Semerang" by Ma Nor Huda Mohd Mansor. "Semalu" is about the role of a woman in the society as a mother, sister, and wife, whose duty makes one woman strong yet gentle like the mimosa plant, which is called semalu in malay.

"Panji Semerang" is a dance drama which takes the plot of an old folk tale about a royal princess' mother has been assasinated, then she disguised herself as a man to escape and search for her fiancee at another land, which she comes back to her motherland and reclaim victory.

there's is a review by Dancer/choreographer, Bilqis Hijjas, who also came to watch the performance that day. click here

ok not gonna be too wordy... here's pictures!

crew hard at work!

super StageManagers: Aiwi n porpor

Rail Rehearsal

Semalu Stage Blocking

Panji Semerang stage blocking

Warming up

Green Room

Performance-trio




Best Friends

Relationships

The choreographer n me

Kak munie n mr.puppet

Abang Sya n me

<3>

Super ASM n me

From L: Lingling,BFFE,rikko, sya,sim,cindy,margaret,moi,norulle

Cast n crew!

Second batch: CLASSMATES!!

Love u all laaaa

<3rail<3>

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Next up.. i 'm also involved in Heroes Season 3 Premiere which was held in Pavilion KL not too long ago. We had to dress like the "new and improved" Claire Bennet, the immortal cheerleader who seem indestructible. Shana is the "uninjured" Claire Bennet in the Costa Verde High cheerleading attire. We had to role play in a short skit where a mutant prisoner breaks out and chases after Shana. It was pretty funny cuz we had to go on a screaming frenzy without laughing out loud. But all in all it was fun... here are more pictures!!

Charm Babes(sze wern is missing cuz she is being "cut in the forehead")

and then we all got "cut in the forehead" except for shana

Kick the baddie! :D

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Now in between all those projects, i helped out CW as co-choreographer in Sri KDU high school's Full Length musical production- Prom The Musical. It was a stage production in conjunction with their Performance and Awards Nite, something like a Grammy-awards event where the teachers present awards to deserving students who have contributed and achieved success throughout the school year. I felt that the awards event has created many opportunities for these promising children so that they have an aim for success.

Ok back to Prom the Musical...

Prom the Musical has a simple plot but backed up by fun and entertaining songs borrowed by famed broadway hits like Hairspray and Grease. The plot centers around 6 performing arts student preparing for their senior prom. During the preparation for their prom, they learn to deal with deep emotional issues and friendships are tested.

Due to time constraint, and final exams in the way, we only had 13 rehearsals to put everything together. This young people are so much fun to work with. The choreographers: Shan, Zen, CW n me, we were also tested to race against time to put up a great show, at the same time making sure that the cast n ensemble enjoyed the whole production process as well.

I deeply thank Mr.Zachary Wong for letting me be a part of this wonderful production. Mrs.Chan the headmistress of Sri KDU was a darling, this wonder woman who continuously insisted the best out of the students really made a difference to the whole production of the show. The cast and ensemble were amazing. They tirelessly trained for the production, having to come early in the morning and being so cooperative despite a few mishaps during rehearsals.

ok!Ok!.. not too wordy... i'll let the pictures do the talking.

us and wonderwoman,Mrs Chan.

me,mel,cw

during practice :)

Love u i do scene

Curtain Call

liyen n me

sze wern n me

me n shan

wan ru :)

the choreographers

my lovely coursemates who came to watch

the group picture that never turn out right.haha..

cw, where r u looking?

ok, now u r looking but everybody else isn't...

great...now shan is not looking -___-"

it's ok i still love u guys :D

actually my mom came too but i didn't manage to take a picture with her due to running up n down n being nervous downstage while these little daredevils take the stage. sigh. Anyway, thanx ma for coming to support, i appreciate it tremendously.

This is my first ever choreography effort, and it meant a lot to me that these wonderful young people actually staged what we (me n cw) envisioned for the choreography. I'm so happy and touched even if it only a span of less than a month working with these people. I think i'm gonna miss them loads.

Rock on, Sri KDU-ans!

til then!