asswipes and self-worth do not tally

This is gonna touch some nerves here, if people really bothered to read what i have to say.

I learnt something that is so very meaningful the other day in one of my lecture classes. This class subject is called Performance Theory, which the main topic of study is behaviour, be it human, animal or non-living objects.

Ok..u guys must be thinking wtf am i talking about... ("perempuan ni gila,tiba-tiba cakap yg tak mengena, benda tak hidup pun ada behaviour..")

Wait...

This subject is mainly studying the reaction and how everything in everyday life concerns with a performance. In lay man's term, everything u do IS a performance. Like how u are staring at the screen trying to get what i'm yakking about... hehe

Anyways, our topic of discussion that day was the MALE GAZE.
Seeing something through the eyes of a male's perspective.

Have u all ever wondered why some female celebrities are deemed beautiful, some labelled sexy and some not-so-physically-attractive?

What is "perfect woman" to u? hmm.. let's see...
long silky hair... check
voluptuously firm, round breasts... check
perky bottom... check
soft lips... check
fair skinned... check
smooth legs... check
doe-like innocent eyes with long eyelashes... check
Soft, manja voice... check

the lists goes on. And usually these criterias are the ones notioned by men. Why?
Because men studies women more than women study themselves. And when one is engaged in learning about the something, one gains the knowledge and understand that particular subject matter.

If u're gonna argue that this is a sexist topic, i'm actually discussing the human behaviour on a discourse level. Many research and publications has been made on this matter. Let me ask u something.. Why are the most beautiful looking woman not a natural born woman? Note: the transvestites in Thailand.

And do u know, women (real women) in Japan, pay lots of money to watch and learn from the Onnagata, a female impersonator in the japanese avant-garde theatre, as they epitomised the grace n beauty of a true woman.

These men who have observed and studied women all their lives have collectively gathered traits and preferences, thus shaping the preception of the perfect woman.

In other words, sexism is notioned by men. Men in other words dictates how a woman should look and behave. The film, media and ad industry isn't making things any easier either.

picture a scenario like this...
woman: Wah.. the bikini look so pretty... *points at a swimwear ad*
Man: ya lor, if only u look like her, i'd buy the bikini for u *points at model WEARING the bikini IN the ad*

wtf...

But hey, when a woman has to learn from a man, on HOW TO BEHAVE LIKE A WOMAN (in the eyes of a man), isn't it about time we do something?
Some girls or woman would go for crash diet, plastic surgery, desperate measures to change the way they look in order to secure a relationship with a man. I'm not condemning diets n plastic surgery, do it if it makes u feel good about yourself, but not because u want to please someone else.

I think taking this subject has help me better in understanding people and the way they act sometimes. I shall not go into details n be all theoretical in explaining what i've learnt. But by understanding the theory, i learn a few facts about men and women.

1. Men are born hunters, they like "the chase".
2. They also like what they can't get.
3. Men reacts to no reaction. So instead of going berserk n screaming when he didn't do the laundry/forgetting your birthday etc, just say:" it's ok." With a blank expression. Ladies, i can gurrantee he'd be panicking under your feet in no time.
4. Men will NOT say NO to sex.
5. respects women who puts them into place when they go overboard, but step all over those who let him have his way.
6. Nothing can get in the way of him pleasing the women he likes/wants/wants to fornicate with. 7. If he is unwilling cuz he finds it difficult, means he's not that into u.
8. You can never be too trusting. Save some for yourself.

Here's a familiar scenario where either u've been through before/ heard of/ seen live example:

1. A mutha-fucker disguised as a boy, meets girl who is gullible, innocent and softhearted (sucks cuz girls are usually like that), not to mention pretty, (which is the case most of the time due to the oh-so-powerful male gaze).
2. He wooed, he flirted, he pursued,he promised her the sun,the moon n the stars..plus the world beneath her feet... He claims he fell "deeply in love" with girl when he saw her.
3. She doubted, she obliged,she thought:"what harm could there be?" then she let her guard down, finally she's ready to accept.
4. He got too involved in her life, then all of a sudden, he backed out, claiming that he has fell out of love for her/hasn't gotten over his ex/is gay/his goldfish died..bla bla
5. Which left her humilliated n heartbroken...which she is damaged physically n mentally...
6. Not long after, he'd be dating another new girl. N it will be faster than the speed of Malaysians grabbing free food samples.
7. The plot continues to which it follows the same storyline again...

Somethings are never gonna change no matter how hard u try. Love rats will always be love rats. And ass wipes will always be full of shit.

So have some self-worth n don't blame yourself over something that will not work out. It takes two to tango, and it cuts both ways. People tend to use that word lightly now, so it's better to save it for yourself. Only u know that u truly love yourself.

til then.