Monday, June 30, 2008

Better in Time

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it

Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remaind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in

And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: X2]Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

-leona lewis-

trapped in your weak mind and indecisiveness only brings me more pain.
I need someone who can defend me for my happiness, truly and only just because that someone loves me.
nothing more, nothing less.
Words don't mean a thing to me anymore, i've had enough from u n all the rest of u who likes shoving crap down my throat n insisting that it is good for me.
I hope i can forgive u one day, but for now, and not in the near future, i can't.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Somewhere there, always

Today, I've resolved one of my many matters of the heart.
Today, I've finally done something for myself.
Today, I've probably done the best i can for you.
Today, Tomorrow and days to come, i wish u happiness.
Today, I'm gonna start finding mine.
Today, I'm free :)

til then

Monday, June 23, 2008

I'm lovin' Angels instead

I believe someone out there sent guardian angels to protect me.

I was at Taman Budaya KL today with my tutor Mr.L, and classmates SiewLing, PorPor, MayTzy n Aiwi to watch a comedy play by PingStage. The play is entitled Family- Father And Mother I Love You.



The play explores the different facets of a relationship between parent and child. Some of the dialogues hit close to home, like there was a part where children always complain that their parents never have time for them, and how our parents always tell us the infamous "it's for your own good". It made me laugh and cry at the same time. This play is light with good humour and the intent is fairly easy to understand. However, audience who are unfamiliar with Malaysian culture might take a little time to grasp the jokes. Nevertheless, there were only 7 actors playing many roles for 8 different scenes. I appreciate the actors for convincingly delivering the characters and emotions through their face. It touched me deeply because the play has successfully delivered what is intended, family. :)

The short review above is just something i felt i should justify about how good the play is. Anyway, u all must've thought this is about my parents are the said guardian angels.... Okay, not entirely wrong but something else happened.

I parked my car opposite Taman Budaya, which is also opposite the police station. It was fairly easy to get a parking spot that day so we were delighted with our luck. And somemore its opposite the police station, what could go wrong?

Well, i was wrong. A BIG FAT WRONG!

When I came out with everybody after the play we decided to go for supper. Then MayTzy n PorPor hopped on to Mr.L's car while SiewLing and Aiwi followed my ride.(thank goodness, keep on reading n u will know why) As we all hopped onto the car getting ready to leave, i had difficulty reversing the car. It felt like the car had stuck into mud. Then Siewling said:" ei, here a bit scary la at nite, so many wrecked cars." We all agreed cuz the parking space is meant for cars involved in accidents to park so the police can take pictures for case file.It was dark and dodgy, and i was so damn stupid to be parking my car there. What were u thinking, cheng choo? Have u lost your brains?

So i immediately left. Then i realized the car was sinking on the right. We knew something had happened to the left side of the tires but we didn't dare get off the car. So siewling n aiwi immediately called Mr.L for help. (they were already almost reaching the said supper destination)We made sure the doors were locked and waited inside the car.

About 5 minutes or so, Mr.L and the rest arrived. Then only we dare come off the car n checked the wheels. And indeed, both tires on the left front and back are flat. Someone (which i like to think it is a someone) let off the air in the tires. We shuddered a bit but then we decide to just stay calm and make the most out of the situation.

Everybody helped me change tires or at least keeping a lookout when some are changing tires. Mr.L and my classmates are really awesome, and everybody kept the situation light. *oh my goodness, I love u all, SERIOUSLY* Then Mr.L escort me to the nearest petrol station to check the tires n fill up the other wheel. (cuz i only have ONE SPARE TIRE maaa) After that, we went for supper, Mr.L suggested that we wait a while to see if the tires leak, to check if it's puntured or only flat.

To cut the story short, my tires were only flat. It appears that the air has been let out. Everybody made sure me n my car was ok before we all parted home. They also called me twice just to check if i've reached home. OH MY GOODNESS, i'm so thankful that i have people like this in my life.

I felt so loved, someone loved me enough to send guardian angels to protect me. Guardian Angels in the form of Mr.L, SiewLing, MayTzy, Aiwi and PorPor. Love them loads n loads. And blessed me with common sense not to get off the car to check. If i were alone just now, i might not be able to be sitting here telling this incident. I'm stil shuddering but I'm thankful :)

Ok, i PROMISE PROMISE to blog about japan very soon. now am busy. And tmr i have exams. So toodles for now!

til then

Sunday, June 15, 2008

i'm here til the stars come out

I'm in a dark place.

I'm in there because many things have happened, some were there, some weren't.Some u can see, some u can't.
Sometimes it's not fair to put the blame on anybody. Bad things can happen anytime, without warning. Shit happens.

It's not about what happened or how it happened. It is about being able to recover and stand back up again after all that has happened.
I'm in there cause i can't tell u how i feel. I'm in there because it's eating me up slowly inside.
I can't accurately describe how i feel inside, but all i can do now is to ignore and try to focus what is at hand.

I'd like to believe i would have a happy ending of my own, i grew up listening to shitass fairy tales. The one about the shitass Prince Charming riding off with the stupid Princess living happily ever after. But as we grow bigger, we also grow wiser at the times we fell, the times we got hurt, and the times we didn't make it. We learn that there are two sides to a situation, and from experience we learn that we can see the good side from every shortcomings.

We all know that there is no pastel colours and land full of talking furry animals. We all know that we cannot just kill the evil stepmother and all will be good(that would be murder n get u into more trouble). And i certainly know that happily ever after doesn't come after riding off to the sunset/sunrise. There will be more responsibilities after that. And it scares me.

And i know the consequences of revealing some things that are better left unsaid. So that's why, i'm in a dark place.

How i long to open up to u, n how i long to see what is beyond that i can see. And until that day comes, i'm in the dark place. I'll be there until i find what i'm looking for. I'll be there until the stars come out.

And maybe, maybe if u can come n pull me out of it.

til then

Friday, June 13, 2008

hey now, i'm an all-star~


so damn fucking happy =T___T=


Whee~

til then

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Food for thought, literally

Remember the five-second rule?
The one where if u drop food on the floor, and u quickly pick it up within 5 seconds, you can still eat it?

For many hygiene freaks (i'm one!!), the thought of putting food dropped on the floor into your mouth is disgusting. But however, it is proven that it takes longer time for the bacteria to taint WET foods, and an EVEN longer time to taint DRY food. Many studies have been made about it Go check this out. -click-

But since the bacteria takes longer time to taint the food. Here's a food for thought... about food:
WOULD U PICK UP AND EAT FOOD THAT HAS DROPPED ON A PILE OF SHIT?

ewww...
til then

imma gonna blog japan soon, patience, my young padawan...

Thursday, June 5, 2008

-

**Update 090608
Hmm... it seemed like u have a lot of free time to check out ppl's blog huh? I wonder what were u doing when we were all fighting hard in a foreign land?
U have so much time to snoop around other people's business and trying oh-so-hard to gather forces instead of working eh? I guess that's why u never contributed to help by giving some fuckfaced excuse.. just perfect for your fuckfaced attitude, and your ur fuckface.

Oh well, i might just be paranoid, cuz if u aint reading this, u might be busy looking for innocent doe-eyed preschooler that u can stick your dirty watever into... Anything is fine for you, as long as it has body cavity(s) and no brains :)

so there, fucker.

I can't believe how idiotic u are by CONSTANTLY trying to prove yourself a big fat idiot each and everytime. In fact, calling u mentally disabled is a total and utter insult to the mentally disabled. I really don't know what else to label u. Your actions justifiies what kind of person u are, selfish, stupid, cheapskate, and most of all, BRAINLESS.

So i can't actually call u mentally disabled, because u don't have one. The only thing u ever think about is YOU, YOU and only YOU. Hello, Wannabe-Paris-Hilton, the world does NOT revolve around you! And it never will be! And whatever u have will eventually go away one day. You are a tragic accident u know? Talking to u... oops sorry... just listening to u talk can damage brain cells for your unintellectual bullshitting conversation.

I pity the poor souls who bring u to this world. If i were your mom, i would have smothered u if i knew u turned out this way in life. You are a disgrace from top to toe, and u think u r oh-so-popular? You are a waste of space in this overcrowded universe. Seriously, and u really think u are all that? hahahaha.. u've been a severe joke among all of us, and we laugh at your stupidity constantly cause u never listened and u think u are all that.

U were given many many chance but u threw it away by abusing n wasting it. I guess u never thought it through deep and long enough for your UNFORGIVABLE actions, time n time again u were forgiven but u took for granted because u never think u were wrong. I guess u won't be reading this, because i doubt u'd understand due to limited capacity in the head.

But remember this, Karma is a very powerful thing, whatever u do unto others will come back and bite u hard in the ass, TRIPLE FOLD. SO watch out my dear friend. I hope u can sleep at night knowing the things u've done to other ppl's children. And don't forget, one day, u will have kids too.

Have a good life.

i don't seek them, they find me.