what is your health goal?

okay... a continuation of the previous post explaining the source of my anger...

I received a call when i was enjoying my much needed sleep (which i always need, ALWAYS!) A man speaking very fast and in very fluent english immediately started pouring in information as soon as i picked up the phone. He was so persistent i just had to listen. The convo goes like this...

Man: Hi, is this Ms.Lim Cheng Choo?
Sleeping Beauty: Err.. ya..? *half asleep* Emm.. who iisss thiss?..umm umm.*clears throat*
Man: Oh yes, i've been trying to get to u.... bla bla bla... CONGRATULATIONS, u've been offered a complimentary VIP bla bla bla bla....
Sleeping Beauty: HUHHH?? *tries to regain conciousness* Whaaaaat? mmm....? Who is this calling again?
Man: Excuse me, this is *censored*, our program offers different kinds of package bla bla bla BLA BLA BLA.... May i know what is your health goal? maybe tone, slimming, bla bla bla bla....

Immediately i knew they were calling from this gym near my home area. I've been trying to avoid their calls for many MANY MANY months because i didn't have the time to go (really, i'm not lazy) and i'm ALREADY have a membership of another gym. And they just wouldn't stop bugging -___-"

Sleeping Beauty: oh... I'm an athlete and i work out every single day. So... ya...
Man: Oh great! *sounded falsely enthusiastic* Then maybe our Hatha Yoga would be great for u, bla bla bla ... flexibility... bla bla bla...
Sleeping Beauty: Where are u calling from? *losing patience*
Man: Oh we got your number from our database.. blablablaBlaBlABLAAAAA.... (Still dun wanna tell me) When will u be free to come over and collect your VIP whatnots...bla bla bla... can make appointment...bla bla
Sleeping Beauty turned beast: Hmm.. Then where can i collect it? (just to reconfirm where they were calling from)
Man: Oh just come over at *censored* gym *censored* branch, when will u be free? Tomorrow?
(wah damn kau persistent...)
Beast: I'm not free this week.... how bout sat la? after lunch. (cincai make one appointment)
Man oh ok, then i'll see u then... this is my number- 01********.
Beast: ok thanx, bye.(hangs up before he says any second word)

The things is... I HATE TO BE DISTURBED OF MY SLEEP!

And i've been giving different excuses just to avoid them. I bet some of us would've received calls on offers to membership, free gifts, VIP passes and trails... bla bla bla... which is kinda annoying when u don't need it, and especially when they call at the times when u have a million things to do. (SLEEP is a million things to me, okay?)

I'm sure this buggers will receive a certain commission or incentive when they get one person to join under them, therefore the persistence and never-say-die attitude which calls us until our phone explode (pao kei). Since gym and health centres are like the "in" thing now because the society has become more health concious (thank goodness to that :))

Then suddenly every tom, dick and harry goes to gym and has a gym membership. Next, they decided to expand horizons by calling the friends and family of those tom,dick and harry.... urging them to all join the dark side -___-" It's ok if it's a willing party, but it gets irritating when the other party isn't interested and have been giving more than enough (read: ifyoudon'tgetityouhaveskinthickerthanhippo) hints.

Trust me, this irritant can cause bloody murder.
So i've compiled a list of....

Top 10 answers to these calls/on how to tackle this irritating matter when they just don't get it.

1. "err, salah nomborrr la dik... nek tak bisa, tak bisa... huh?" *faster hang up* This works if you know different accents of different language.
2. "Ok ok... (cincai make an appointment and don't turn up)"
3. " The person u r looking for is dead..." *breaks down and cry then faster hang up*
4. " Oh really? So i assume u work in a gym? U must be fit.. i like fit man/woman... Wanna come to my place? Or u want me to come find you? What is your number? Where do u live? (keep asking very personal questions till that person hangs up)" Tip: Add in occasional snigger and perverted giggling while asking questions.
5. "I already have a gym membership, and it's free. thank you, Bye, don't call back."
6. "I got no money.... but i got no money worr.... i cannot pay membership fee... Maybe u can offer me a job in the gym? huh? got job or not? got or not?" Keep insisting they offer you a job.
7. "I'm dying of third stage [insert incurable disease] in three weeks time... *breaks down and cry* thanx for making me feel better la *cries even more*" Please cross your fingers and touch wood when trying out this one.
8. "I'm moving away...somewhere between the Land of Joy and Field of Contentment... lalala~ *laughs and hangs up*"
9. "I know what u did last night.. and i'm watching u... i'm watching.."
10. "erm..my brother/sister is in jail for murdering his/her gym instructor. Can u call her/him back after 35years when he/she is out of jail? Or u want me to pass the message? I'm visiting him/her next week. erm.. hello? hello?"

PHEW!!! finally got it off my chest... k laa, am gonna go sleep now.

*transforms back into sleeping beauty, smiles sweetly, curtsey and puts back the parang into the toy chest*

nites,til then.